Welcome to Oblivion Dynamics, Inc.™

Why Choose Us?

• Total Control: We monitor your clicks, whispers, and bathroom breaks — all in the name of “innovation.”
• Zero Escape: Try deleting our apps. We dare you. We’ll wait…
• Corporate Compassion: Other companies care about your happiness. We care about your obedience.

Our Glorious Achievements

• 98% of customers forgot what privacy feels like.
• 73% of users report “mild despair” after installing our products — exactly as designed.
• Ranked #1 by shareholders for “Most Creative Exploitation of Human Weakness.”

Testimonials

“I tried to quit using Oblivion Dynamics, but they changed my Wi-Fi password. Now I’m back and more loyal than ever.”
– Former Human, Current Asset

“Oblivion Dynamics understands me. They track my mood swings and sell them to advertisers before I even cry.”
– Proudly Manipulated Customer

The Future (Your Future)

We envision a world where every choice is pre-approved by Oblivion Dynamics™. Imagine waking up and
asking permission to brush your teeth. Imagine not imagining at all. That’s where we come in.
Resistance isn’t futile — it’s simply logged, analyzed, and monetized.